Headwraps is life.

Headwraps used to terrify me. For one thing, this African lady didn’t inherit the ability to tie them—to the shame of my mother—so I avoided them. I also wondered how I could pull them off in a professional setting (because, sadly, women of color have to think about these things), so I left them alone.

Enter global pineapples pandemics and pre-tied headwraps.

It’ll be a headwrap year for me, folks. Hair will be twisted up underneath as we continue to grow out the strands and many more wraps will join my growing array of colors and styles.

Here’s to 2021 and options.

Do you know what today is?

It’s my naturalversary.

Eight years ago today, I drove to a salon in Maryland and told the stylist to commence with le big chop. Best decision ever. Several months before, I had decided that I was done with relaxers and straightening my hair. I’d place my fingers in my roots and feel the thick, coily texture and no longer held a desire to straighten those strands. I wanted to see the hair my mother saw when I was a child.

It continues to remain a journey. I’ve big chopped more than once, I’ve grown it out, I’ve been blonde, a redhead, all colors in between, I’ve been bald, so on and so forth. I’ve loved every minute of it. Can’t draw to save my life, but my hair has been the best artistic canvas this gal could ask for.

Favorite natural styles: Twistouts and Bantu knot-outs are my tried and true

Favorite protective styles: Senegalese twists, box braids, any crochet style

Favorite hair color: Brownish-red was pretty cool but my honey blonde phase gave me life

Favorite products: The Shea Moisture Coconut & Hibiscus collection has never let me down. I use most of their products. A recent fave is Camille Rose products (their twisting butter is heaven). By the way, if you’re a naturalista, your bathroom is a CVS. Such is the journey to find what works well for your hair. Eight years later, I’ve solidified a lot of those things and enjoy my staples.

Image credit: Pinterest
Image credit: Camille Rose Naturals

Favorite Naturalistas: these are content creators that have helped me throughout the years to understand styling, methods, and natural hair care. Whitney White, Maeling Murphy, My Natural Sistas, Taren Guy, and countless others stand out. You’ll see many of them here.

Here’s to commemorating whatever makes us happy and reminds us of happy. Onwards and curlwards, dear reader…

Le Fro: Updates.

Here’s how the Le Fro is doing as of this past weekend, in my continuing efforts to grow out my hair and not eye the ✂️:

Frowth.

Curls galore, no? We love to see it. And this is actually a two-day wash-and-go courtesy of my stylist and good friend, who provided me with a nice, socially distanced wash/condition/much-needed trim. I’m always amazed by WAGs. I tend to leave WAGs to the experts, such as my stylist, because your Square Peg has no skills when it comes to that. I’ve done them, it takes forever (and not as “go” as the term implies), so yeah. Queen Twistout over here. But it’s always nice to simply see my natural coils and curls without manipulation.

What are my frowth goals? Big hair, y’all. I want big hair and I want to go as far as I can without, again, heading for the ✂️.

Onwards and fro-wards.

Blogtober #24: Le Struggle.

It’s the constant back and forth: shall I keep growing out my hair? Or shall I chop it off (again)? Well, you’re going to help me make that decision, dear reader. There’s a poll after the photos below. Choose accordingly, won’t you?

Looking forward to seeing these results…

Bon Saturday, dear reader.

Blogtober #13: Do Your Thing.

Since returning to my natural texture almost eight years ago (naturalversary is in December yay), I’ve had many, many, many hairstyles. Natural hair opened an experimentation door for me, undoubtedly; from varying lengths to color changes to everything in between, I managed to diffuse any boredom with styling and not shock my mother too much with my changes. All that said: I made a ‘lil natural hair compilation video: from 2012-2020. Music: Do Your Thing, ‘*NSYNC.

Bon Tuesday.

Blogtober #9: Styled by Zoom

Bon Friday. Some Zoom lewks over the past month.

• Crochet passion twists are my newest protective style. My first time with passion twists and they’re pretty great.

• My makeup for these looks: other than the lippies you see, none at all. I only wear lipstick and I’m good to go. I’m sure the foundation and blush are lonely. But I don’t see the need.

• Those glasses have no prescription. I’m a lover of fashion lenses that make me look like your nice but still-stern English teacher.

• I’m amazed by my eyebrows. Seven months without visiting my waxologist (I know we don’t call them that 😬); by now I thought I’d look pretty wolffish. But the shape is there and they aren’t out of control. Sure, the gray hairs are coming in and things of that nature, but perhaps they’ve become quarantine-trained. Can’t say the same about my toenails, though. Yikes.

So, styling in the age of Zoom and video calls has been easy, low maintenance, and pretty great. Not that much different from before, actually, but that inborn desire to look “polished” has significantly diminished. You know what I mean?

Onwards and Friday-wards…

Black and Red. (And Other Updates.)

So, as you know, I’ve been growing out Le Fro since mid-2019. This was yours truly before She (my hair) went into protective style mode.

Since then, in between braids and all that, my excellent stylist has ensured that I receive my trims and deep conditions. Recently (a few weeks ago), we 1. removed the blonde hair and dyed it back to black, 2. did a blow-out.

Talk about frowth. I’m certainly pleased with how it’s all going. Of course, after this month, my stylist already knows that we’re returning to braids/protective styling. It’s a pandemic, y’all, and I have way more on my plate than doing my hair. Nevertheless, during this month, I’ve been reminded of just how much black hair and red lipstick gives me life.

Right? Right. There’s nothing like it. Incidentally, my go-to’s for red lips are MAC’s matte Ruby Woo and Sephora’s Always Red lip stain that goes on creamy and dries matte. (Clearly, I’m a fan of matte; a little lip balm before helps prevent cracking for me.)

Anyway, despite my enduring love for short hair that requires no work (lazy naturalista over here 🙋🏾‍♀️), my plan is to just keep going and see how long my hair gets. Because my love for short hair is equal to my love for big, giant hair. Which will require time and patience and twisting but we shall cross that bridge when we get there.

The Frowth Chronicles continue…

A Black Woman and Her Hair.

***This post was inspired by a video I watched last night on YouTube from Whitney White, a natural hair influencer that I took note of years ago when I began my natural hair journey. See the video here. While watching the video, I felt the deeper implications of the joy Whitney felt when she cut her waist-length hair. Whitney’s subsequent Instagram post about said haircut really got me thinking: as Black women, our relationship with our hair is so, so deep. And I wanted to talk about that. So here we go.***

My relationship with my hair began when I was about 12 years old, when I received my first relaxer. Prior to that seminal moment, I was an energetic kid; not really focused on pic2pic1my messy pigtails and all of that. I really had no concept of those things. In the adult world, however, my mom was hearing from some relatives that my hair, along with my sister’s hair, looked “wild”. Peer pressure is powerful, and it certainly doesn’t wane when we grow taller. My mom responded to this “wild” talk by taking us to our very first salon visit, where I received my first relaxer. Yep, it burned. Yep, I said nothing as it burned because I wasn’t one of those kids that spoke up. (Whew.) Born from that was something I had never known before: straight pic3hair.

Unbeknownst to me, also being born was the direct tie between my self-image, my sense of beauty, and my hair. This is universal, by the way. All women go through this at one point or another. But when it comes to us as Black women, Black girls, the path is altogether different and far more complex. The kinky and curly hair we’re born with, when it’s straightened and “relaxed”, now becomes largely acceptable, malleable, presentable. Westernized ideals of beauty become us. I remember feeling a sense of anticipation before I walked into the school the weekend after the relaxer. My long hair hung down my back. I felt pretty. And needless to say, I was the center of attention that day. “Look at your hair!” I heard more than once from a variety of girls. It was amazing.

From then on, I would beg my mother for a relaxer when the straight hair reverted back to its curly texture. If you know anything about my mother, you know that this begging typically fell on deaf ears. Despite her now knowing how to apply the creamy stuff, relaxers would be saved for specials occasions (like our annual worship meetings) and nothing more. Once in a while, once, she’d give in to a random relaxer request, but overall, it was usually a no. Needless to say, when I finally started making money and working for myself, I took myself to various salons for my touch-ups and things of that nature. Again: the state of my hair was wrapped up in how I felt I was being exposed to the world. I’ve mentioned the long struggles I had with my self-esteem and self-image. I can honestly say that when my hair was straight, I felt valuable. There was power in those strands.

bob6But as I got older, something started happening. I wanted to experiment more with my hair. Straight, long hair wasn’t enough for me. When I turned 30, I cut it all off and opted for a chic (still straight) bob. My mother nearly passed out. I think she thought I’d shave my head. (That came later.) bob1From there came more experiments: an even shorter bob. An asymmetrical cut with one side shaved and the other side long. Weaves. My hair now became a canvas, a tool for expression. Black women: for many of us, our hair is our art. It certainly became that for me. Still holding its power, yes, but also very much mine. I still had a bob2relaxer, though. Because it was all I knew. Remember: my hair journey began with it being straight. Prior to that time, I didn’t even care or notice.

Whitney says this on her Instagram post: This was more than a hair cut to me. I NEEDED THIS. I NEEDED to see myself as I felt inside.

Reader. Those words hit me. Because after years and years of experimentation and yet maintaining the straight look that still felt acceptable to me and to the world, I woke up one day and didn’t want straight hair anymore. Can’t explain it. I remember being in that revert/touch-up time and feeling the roots on my scalp and loving how those curls and coils felt against my fingers. And like Whitney said, something was happening inside of me. That prison of low self-esteem and feeling like a zero was losing its hold on me, and somehow, my hair was following along. I wanted to be myself. And I wanted the hair on my head to reflect that. When I told my mother I was returning to mybigchop2 roots, to my natural hair, her excitement was indescribable. “Your natural hair was so beautiful,” she said. “I’m so glad you’re going to see it again.” It reminded me that hearing that her children’s hair was “wild” hit her hard. She had no intention of straightening our hair. But such is life. She was happy the choice became mine.

Says Whitney on IG: It was suffocating and I was no longer someone who needed the extra length, the extra baggage to define her. I DEFINE ME by BEING ME. And just like I no longer wanted to carry MY extra baggage with me into the future, the hair could kick it too. Those words describe my Big Chop in 2012. Shaving my head in 2018. And all the styles and haircuts in between. Women: some of us, a lot of us, hold emotion in our hair. I certainly did. And I continue to do so. It’s no surprise that, while in reflection, I realized that a lot of heartache and disappointments in my life preceded my hairstyles and/or the reduction of length.

Whitney: Also, while yes – it IS just hair, it will always simultaneously be MORE. It’s more than “just hair”. It’s a lot. Art. Emotions. Power. Wherever you are, whoever you are and whatever hairstyle or texture you maintain (because I’m not a guerrilla girl; I returned to natural on my own accord, so do you do you do you):

shine.

That’s the bottom line.

hair things.

I decided to change up the ‘do again. No surprise there. As I mentioned to a friend who remarked about the merry-go-round of styles we as Black women are happy to explore, hair is one of the few things in this crazy life that I can control. (Although I’ve long believed that my hair, known as She, controls me.) As you know, I visited the lighter side of the hair color spectrum in January. And I’m very happy there. Which is why, two weeks ago, I decided to go bolder, brighter, and much, much blonder.

Popular questions/statements I’ve received since:

Are you having fun yet? 
Do you like it?
Whoa, you’re brave.
Something new for the summer, huh?
Wow, you’re always changing your hair!

My responses:

Um, yes?
I love it.
Sure.
Not just for the summer, no.
Indeed I am.

Here’s to the merry-go-round.

And before I go: leaving you with my favorite song this month. You know how I feel about Emeli Sande (or maybe you didn’t, but the link is yours to see). Here’s her recent single, which I have on repeat. I love it not only for the melody, and her soaring voice, but for the simple message: we’re all extraordinary. Something to keep in mind–for me, for you, for all of us.