As a singleton, invariably, 1) I’m offered someone’s murderous son/nephew/cousin/friend/random guy on the street as a potential marriage partner, and 2) I receive plenty of tips and advice about my future marriage. Here are a few of my favorites, along with a bit of commentary.
A good marriage consists of two forgivers. I’ve heard this more than once, and I like it. To me, it means that I can forgive him for forgetting that I occupy our home when a game is on and he can forgive me for reacting…melodramatically. (Think screaming “you obviously don’t love me” from our upstairs balcony.)
Marriage isn’t 50/50. It’s 100/100. Another good one. I may be functioning at a third-grade level when it comes to Math and numbers, but this is clear: he will 100 percent buy me pretty presents and I will 100 percent love him for it.
The first year is the hardest; it can make you or break you. My mother said this to me. I believe her. I mean, yes, I imagined Idris and I just swimming in sunshine and roses that first year, but I don’t doubt that there will be some growing pains: what to name our yacht, pestering him to leave the outgoing message on my cell phone, reminding him about our weekly galas in the city (he can be so forgetful)…
Never go to bed angry. True. But what about infuriated, incensed, and/or enraged?
All humor intended.
2 Replies to “Tips.”
I enjoyed your witty interpretations of the tips. Yasss! 😀
Lol @ “I’m offered someone’s murderous son…” Ah, the many unsolicited matchmaking sessions that one must endure for wearing the singleton badge, tsk, tsk.
My elderly neighbour once stopped me during my morning jog, and with a twinkle in her eye, she asked “How are you my dear, are you married”? I could see her mind working out the many ways that she could fix that. Lol
Hi, my fellow singleton badge-wearer,
Lolol. They’re always working it out, thinking of all the potential serial killers we can save with our love. No thanks. I’ll wait for Idris. Or my actual future love who works at a bank or an office and not in a creepy basement. 😂😂😂 Thanks, as always, for reading!