We never stop growing and learning about ourselves, do we? Below are some of the things I’ve realized about myself lately, because I’m all about epiphanies, epiphanies, epiphanies…anyway, read on, s’il vous plait.
- Discovery: I receive a special kind of joy from unsubscribing to the abundance of emails that clog my various inboxes. There’s nothing like cutting the cord. And I accept that this provides a level of contentment that I can’t fully describe.
- Discovery: shyness never really goes away. But it becomes manageable. I have tons of friends who don’t believe that I was or am a shy person, and I attribute all of that to good shyness management; i.e., ignoring that 9 year-old who’d prefer that I retreat and hide and keep quiet. She’s cute but bossy. (Side note: I really appreciate the few people in my life who keenly see shades of that 9 year-old in my actions and completely give me room to navigate it all. It’s nice to be known.)
- Discovery: I give people very few chances to edit themselves. If you’re rude or mean or dismissive from jump, I rarely have the desire to want to see you change your ways. Because, deep down, I don’t believe you want to. People have the ability to be better and I should want them to want to, riiiiiight? Working on this one.
- Discovery: if I smile at you and you don’t smile back, you’ve ruined that aspect of my day. In other words, I’ve put a lot of importance of non-verbal communication lately, more than I have in the past. But perhaps this goes hand in hand with #3. Maybe you’re having a bad day. Maybe you’re constipated. I don’t know. Working on it. (I think it’s because if I’ve made the effort to be polite despite the insanity of my day, you should too? But when was human nature ever so black and white?)
- Discovery: I compete with other drivers. When you’re in the next lane and you rev up and increase your speed, I do the same thing. And I like to win. Don’t tell Mom.
- Discovery: also related to 3&4. Despite my penchant for quietly psychoanalyzing people, psychoanalysis isn’t necessarily insight. And as much as I dig deep in my own psyche and examine my choices and actions and why I do them, I honestly don’t give that time to other people. Insight and the ability to really see into a situation and the people involved is a gift. One I don’t have. And real talk: I think this also limits my fiction and the ability to really see into my characters.
- Discovery: I’m not as cynical or pessimistic as I like to believe. I am the child of parents who believed in and functioned on high levels of optimism. I think I’ve been volleying between those two opposing forces my whole life: cushioning myself in pessimism but nursing, deep down, the hope that I’ll be proven wrong.
- Discovery: During difficult times, writing has always been a crutch and/or a distraction for me. Don’t get me wrong. I fully believe that I was born to be a writer. But my inability to be creative lately makes me wonder if looking at writing beyond what it is–an art form–is why I can’t seem to get into it lately. Am I placing on it requirements that it’s not equipped to handle? As in: making me feel better?
Thanks for visiting epiphany central. What things have you learned about yourself lately?
5 Replies to “Discoveries. (Or, Eureka, We Keep Finding Her.)”
@”Shyness never really goes away. But it becomes manageable” It goes when I least expect and comes when I least expect it. As I’ve gotten older, I guess my shyness has also aged gracefully too. Lol
On giving people second chances to edit themselves, I’ve learned to do that by using the “what if I it was me” switch . If someone caught me on a bad day for reasons related to PMS, for example, I’d hope they’d give me a second chance to see the non-PMS’d version of me. XD
In my case, I’ve discovered that during difficult times, reading books has always been a distraction for me, I escape into words and all is well.
A recent discovery, I’ve become less patient for idle demands of me or my time, I no longer make apologies for not wanting to do something. Life is too short for alla dat rabbish!
LOLOL at life is too short for alla dat rabbish! So true. I had a similar discovery. Saying no isn’t a problem for me. Nope, nope, nope. 😂If I can’t do it (or don’t want to), I simply won’t. Here’s to growing up, huh? But yes, agreed: the shyness has a mind of its own. It pops up at the most interesting times. And yes, it really is important to try to put myself in someone’s shoes. Always learning…🙌🏾☺️
I relate with every one of your discoveries! Don’t smile back and you make my entire day messy until someone random smiles at me first, some other time!
Yes! Totally agree. 😊 Thanks for reading and commenting!