We Need to Talk about This.

Girl, you’ve been looking really nice lately, wearing all these beautiful dresses. What’s his name?lies

Oh my goodness, I didn’t even recognize you. You look so different! Are you seeing someone?

And on and on and on and on. The idea that a woman can’t spruce up her look/style for herself but because a man stands on the horizon somewhere, inspiring all the changes.

I’ve heard the above-mentioned remarks more often than not, and I’ve also scowled on the sidelines while such remarks have been made to my good friends.

I call a moratorium.

  1. Some women dress up for men. I’m not one of them.
  2. The assumption that I’m putting on nice dresses because of a guy reminds me of 1954. And I wasn’t even born in 1954. As much as I enjoyed watching Donna Reed on Nick at Nite, those days are largely over.
  3. And although you may wonder if it’s a generational thing–i.e., whether the individuals making the remarks were born in 1954–it’s not only women from a different generation making those statements. Some of my peers utter the same drivel, as well.
  4. “But it’s a compliment!”
  5. Is it really?
  6. What was I before the supposed man showed up and spread glitter and change throughout my closet? A medieval creature from a faraway black lagoon? A spinster who spent more time dressing her cats than herself?
  7. Can a woman actually wake up one morning and decide: you know what? I want to change my look. I want to dress up my awesome body. I want to change my hair. I want to throw on some Ruby Woo. Can she just do that because she’s a woman, because she has the right to?
  8. And let’s not get started on weight loss = you’re dating someone. Because perish the thought that a woman wants to be healthy for herself.

I can’t.

Clearly, I’ve had enough of these statements. Perhaps you have, too.myself

Let’s all compliment each other if we like. Here’s how: You look nice.


*deep, cleansing breaths*

Happy Tuesday, y’all.


4 Replies to “We Need to Talk about This.”

  1. Ah, this assumption that our lives must revolve round a male’s every whim and desire is laughable.

    Half the time, I look good for my own pleasure. The other half of the time, I look good so that other women can admire me. Because truth be told, only another woman would notice and appreciate the quality of a great handbag or lipstick or the “swang” of my new sleek hairstyle. Lol

    You look nice. PERIOD! 😀

    1. YESSSSSSS! We look good for own pleasure and we look good so that other women can admire and maybe feel inspired, too! During those times when I rock the fro or the Ruby Woo, I sometimes hope another woman who may be shy about her hair or her juicy lips (like mine lol) will see me and be like, whatever, I’m going to do it. 🙂 And like you said, only another woman would appreciate certain style qualities.

      Ah, life. LOL

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