Girl, you’ve been looking really nice lately, wearing all these beautiful dresses. What’s his name?
Oh my goodness, I didn’t even recognize you. You look so different! Are you seeing someone?
And on and on and on and on. The idea that a woman can’t spruce up her look/style for herself but because a man stands on the horizon somewhere, inspiring all the changes.
I’ve heard the above-mentioned remarks more often than not, and I’ve also scowled on the sidelines while such remarks have been made to my good friends.
I call a moratorium.
- Some women dress up for men. I’m not one of them.
- The assumption that I’m putting on nice dresses because of a guy reminds me of 1954. And I wasn’t even born in 1954. As much as I enjoyed watching Donna Reed on Nick at Nite, those days are largely over.
- And although you may wonder if it’s a generational thing–i.e., whether the individuals making the remarks were born in 1954–it’s not only women from a different generation making those statements. Some of my peers utter the same drivel, as well.
- “But it’s a compliment!”
- Is it really?
- What was I before the supposed man showed up and spread glitter and change throughout my closet? A medieval creature from a faraway black lagoon? A spinster who spent more time dressing her cats than herself?
- Can a woman actually wake up one morning and decide: you know what? I want to change my look. I want to dress up my awesome body. I want to change my hair. I want to throw on some Ruby Woo. Can she just do that because she’s a woman, because she has the right to?
- And let’s not get started on weight loss = you’re dating someone. Because perish the thought that a woman wants to be healthy for herself.
Clearly, I’ve had enough of these statements. Perhaps you have, too.
Let’s all compliment each other if we like. Here’s how: You look nice.
*deep, cleansing breaths*
Happy Tuesday, y’all.