This past weekend, I had a much-needed, long-overdue massage. Incidentally, one of my former masseuses mentioned that I should be doing these once a month. relaxrelatereleaseAs lovely as that sounds, since Idris hasn’t yet proposed, my income just doesn’t allow for that yet. But with the increase in my exercise regimen (I’ve joined the back-to-back daily workouts life; more on that in another post) and more importantly, the quiet cries I hear from my joints every time a workout is completed, it’s time to use that Groupon app and find some massage deals, isn’t it? Anyway, during the session, my masseuse promised to give me a list of areas on my body where she noticed muscle tension–from there, I could go online and research stretching tips for those areas. Well, I got that list. Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t a few places here and there. There were five areas she noted, all places that I tend to feel muscle tension throughout the minutes, days, months, years, that pass me by.

And that leads to my confession, dear reader: I don’t think I’ve ever been fully relaxed. Ever. Sure, I’ve had moments where I lay there and feel at peace, serene, undisturbed. But not 100 percent, you know? Not just like languid and droopy with relaxation. Case in point: just last week, prior to this massage, I was laying on the couch in our living room. Ostensibly relaxed, right? My eagle-eyed mom looks at me and asks if there’s anything wrong with my foot. I respond that my foot is fine. She then asks why it seems to be at attention, straight and rigid. I shrug and respond that I don’t know and that it feels fine. When I told her about the masseuse and her list of five areas, she reminded me about our conversation about my foot and how it looked tense. I thought it over and over and realized what I mentioned above.

rrrHonestly, I believe that This Square Peg came into this world not only quietly, but enshrouded with a ball of tension and pre-adult anxiety. So not African, right? Most of my countrymen and women are relaxed, easygoing, go-with-the-flow kind of people. (Yet another thing I didn’t inherit.) Not this one. I think I was born ready to run, ready to spring. I’m never even fully asleep when I sleep. Always aware, always listening, always ready to club someone over the head with a can of potpourri or whatever usable weapon I can find. My beloved dad, who worked at night, used to say that when he came home in the mornings from work, he knew one person would always hear the key going into the front door and would be ready to greet him: me. It was true. I basically sleep/rest/relax with an asterisk next to my brain: *asleep/resting/relaxing, but not really.

Le sigh. So what do I do? Google “how to relax”? Psychologically identify why tension coils around my bones and muscles? More massages? We shall do them all, especially starting with making use of that Groupon app I mentioned above. I have a feeling that if I incorporate massages into my regular schedule, perhaps I’ll finally begin to unwind. After that, I’ll need a leather couch, someone with a pen, and long conversations about just why I believe someone needs to be struck with a can of potpourri in the middle of the night.

How do you relax?


5 Replies to “relax…relate…release…”

  1. The gifs cracked me up, I assume it’s from the sitcom “Different World”. Jasmine Guy was a character!

    I know I’ve asked this before, but I’ll ask again, do you keep a straight face when writing these hilarious posts? “asterisk next to my brain” XD

    Lol @ “the quiet cries I hear from my joints every time a workout has been complete” Ah! that might explain the eerie meowing sound I’ve been hearing too.

    As far as I’m concerned, the much touted “African Chill” is only skin deep, because when faced with real stress, we unleash all of the suppressed tension with the fury of a hurricane.

    I do know what you mean, for me its this feeling of expecting a not so pleasant thing to happen that keeps me on edge. Quite morbid, I know.

    You should get regular massages and keep us posted about if it silences the cries.

    PS: Be a dear and let me know as soon as Mr. Elba pops the question.

    1. Yep, A Different World! One of my favorite shows. Whitley Gilbert/Jasmine Guy was everything on that show.
      Lol – my life is the never-ending comedy. 😂😂 My joints don’t find things funny, though. 😳
      I come from a family of African Chill-ers. Type Bs all around me. My dad wasn’t, however, by any means, and I do believe I inherited every bit of his Type A personality. But I do know what you mean: that African Chill quickly goes away when there’s a conversation about soccer or who made the best Jollof. And certainly disappears during real stress!
      I think most of us hang on that precipice of expecting the worst. Le sigh.
      I’ll definitely update on massages. I plan for another one very soon.
      Oh, you’ll know when Idris asks me. That ensuring cry of joy you’ll hear from the highest of hills will be me. 😉

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